Oblivion is not the answer.

Shit.

I knew it was slipping, didn't I?

And then I had a rough evening and it all went to buggery.

I hate being ignored. I know that makes me sound like the mad woman in Fatal Attraction, but I do hate it. It kind of flicks a switch in my head, and then god help anyone who stands in my way.
As it was, the only person in my way was me, hence the 15cm gash in my leg.

And I thought I was doing so well.

Psychiatric nurse was a mixed bag. She didn't shout at me this time, or tell me I'm not trying. She didn't tell me I have no emotions.
She did tell me that I should have been having blood tests for the meds I'm on, and that anyway she's going to talk to the psychiatrist about me coming off them, because she thinks it's just an anger issue, not a mental health issue.


I don't know what I feel at the moment. Not angry, I know that. Just kind of resigned. I feel like I want to lay on the beach as the tide comes in, and just let the water wash over me until it all goes away.
I told her that.
Oblivion is not the answer she said, wagging her finger at me.

OK, but couldn't I just try it for a while and see?