Down Time

I can feel it slipping at the moment.

Not in the great sweeping waves that sometimes hit me, but gently, gently sliding away.

My last relationship broke up exactly a month ago.
That was a strange one.
I think it was the instability of the relationship that helped bring on my latest crisis. The way I am was partly responsible for the instability - how could anyone be expected to commit to a nutjob like me?
At the moment we are still communicating - occasionally, by text or email. My days revolve around waiting for the next contact, which I know is really bad for me. The alternative, however, is scarier - being alone with myself.

I know I have children, but they don't really count in this equation. They cannot be there to support me. That is not their place.

I don't know anyone else - keeping friends is hard. Not because I am unpleasant or demanding, but because I always get a need to run away. So I moved to a new town, and I know no one.

So I wait for him.

On a lighter note, my eldest daughter (15) has been told she is not allowed to burn things (incense, candles, siblings) in her room. She finds the first of these particularly hard to avoid. Last night the urge got the better of her, and I'm sure she thought she had gotten away with it as her room is at the top of the house BUT the house is fitted with a smoke detection system, and we were suddenly treated to the sound of bells and claxons going off in every hallway. At first we thought there was a fire -
She had to confess.
She won't do that again :-)