Touchdown

Sunday morning, and finally I feel a bit calmer.

Yesterday was appalling. I took four Librium and I still couldn't talk in complete sentences. We went to church but that didn't help. I even sat in a quiet room and tried to do some sewing -- me! sewing! -- but I was just too agitated.

But this morning I feel a bit better.

* * *

I've been texting with he who left me for a few days or so now.
It's been going ok.
I'm not sure why that is. I have a feeling its all the drugs I'm on. Comfortably numb.
I worry when we're getting on ok though, that I'll forget all the things he did to hurt me, and that he'll just get away with it.

Maybe that's why I'm agitated -- all that injustice looming.

On the one hand my head says to me that if I can forget them that easily then they couldn't have been that bad, so maybe I should just drop it. But on the other hand I know what he did was awful. My children know it. He knows it. We can't ever really get on until we clear the air properly, because it's always going to be lurking there at the back of my mind.

There are too many things lurking there already.
I don't need anymore.

* * *

My nails look nice.

* * *

We're supposed to be going to a drive-in movie tonight.
I hope it doesn't rain.