Monday's child

Number two daughter has just gone off to summer school. Suffice to say her first solo trip on a bus involved number one daughter running down to the seafront in her pyjamas.
I keep telling myself that it's all part of growing up.
Well, it is if you're daft as a hairbrush with the memory of a goldfish (God Bless number two daughter).

I've had a dodgy couple of days. Very jumpy, very tearful, but very hard to get going. It's not much fun. I've managed it with Librium and sleeping pills and diet coke, which is good. Six months ago it would have been completely unmanageable, so I'm definitely doing better.
It's a very strange feeling, this jumpiness. It's like someone standing just behind your shoulder but then every time you turn around to look at them, they've gone.
It's very disturbing.

Number one daughter had a birthday on Saturday and that was hard going.
She didn't know if it would be best to hear from her dad or not.
In the end it was not; he didn't send a card or anything, and she was very upset. The situation was made more difficult by the fact my friend's daughter (who is staying with us) lost her dad (my friend) six months ago.
No wonder I've been a bit wobbly.

Number one daughter is hard on herself -- she blames herself for the fact men leave and then never speak to her again, her dad and he who left me being the main players at the moment.
They both made a lot of promises to her personally which they never kept, and she finds that hard.
I keep telling her -- it was me they left, not her -- but those promises make it hard for her to believe me. Or moreover -- she accepts that they left me, but doesn't see why they had to then treat her the same way; she is not me.
I don't know the answer to that either.

Church on Saturday was ok but dull. No massive inspiration from the great beyond.
Still waiting for Him to send me the lottery numbers.
But maybe He did help me with the crossword.
It's the first time I've had a go at one since he who left me left, and I only have one clue to solve:
Fellow at location of an eruption?
I think the answer is something spot. Heatspot? Is that a word?
I don't know, but it's certainly an improvement.