Raining again

Its raining here now, even though its still heatwave hot.
It smelt like there would be a thunderstorm earlier, but it hasn't come yet.

I saw psych lady today. I'm back on my pills as I was before -- two at night, and one in the morning. She said I'm markedly worse this time than when she saw me last, so we're going back to what works.
I didn't argue with her -- my paranoia has been worse too (people hiding things from me, deliberately trying to upset me etc).
We talked about the fact I'll sleep more in the day. As she said, its not like I have to be anywhere, and the most important thing is getting my mood straight.

We talked a bit about he who left me.
She asked me how I felt about him.
I told her I loved him, and then I started to cry.
I cried because I was angry at myself, for being so stupid, for believing that he could ever have loved me.
I must be very stupid, to have believed that.

And then the time was up.