It Never Rains But It Pours

If it doesn't stop raining soon I'm going to go crazy.

Crazier.

It's rained for days and days and days, and the forecast is rain for more and more days. It's ridiculous. It just never lets up. And the bloody roof is leaking.

***

I'm still waiting on new pills. I've been phoning and phoning the doc, and when he finally got the letter from psych guy I asked for new prescription, and now I'm waiting for that.

I'm putting a lot of hope into these new pills, but apparently if they work, they work good.

I keep trying to imagine what it would be like not to be depressed at all, to have energy again, and be motivated. It's a lot to ask of a pill.

But number one daughter leaves home in a few weeks, so I either need a miracle cure, or something to numb me completely.

I don't care which it is.

Having my life back would be nice though.

New pills apparently offer said miracle cure, but only to the lucky few, with the right dopamine organisation.

Fingers crossed.

***

At the moment I don't appear to have the right dopamine for anything -- my life is going to shit, and I can't even cry.

Bring back misery, I say.

***

My brother was interesting at the weekend.

He has been treated with two drugs for bipolar in the past, both for mania.

First I've heard of it.

He said he stopped them both and went for easier options, in the end.

Not necessarily the right options though.