Low Down

I'm feeling very low at the moment, and I'm not sure if that is because number one daughter goes home tomorrow or because my system is missing the anti-depressants I hate so much. Or a combination of the two, plus all the other stress.

Every morning I do a kind of straw poll, to judge how suicidal I am that day. It ranges from 'not very' to 'pretty bad'.

I find it hard to imagine that suicide doesn't figure on the list of possible daily options for some people, but I am told that for some people it is categorically not a consideration for them.

I think that must be a nice feeling.

I can't imagine that a pill can produce that feeling though -- at least, not the kind of stuff that they give out legally on the NHS.

So I'm not about to hurry back to the anti-depressants. I'll just have to hope that my poll keeps me on the good side of 'emergency'.