Tuesday, October 23, 2007

Saddest Day

I think I realised today _finally_ that it doesn't get any better -- that I'll always be alone, so really it's just a question of deciding when and how I go rather than deciding if I go.

It's not that I don't want to be with anyone else, or I can't find anyone -- I can't be with anyone else. So there really is no decision to make.

The decision is made.

End of, as my kids would say.

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I first found my birth mother fourteen years ago tomorrow, on her birthday.

***

It was a couple of years after that I last saw her.