Bored Game

I am so bored I am going out of my (already frazzled) mind.

For the first time in I don't know how long I actually feel reasonably ok -- but I have nothing to do!
I have nothing worth reading, all jobs are done, there is nothing on TV, and I am bored out of my skull.

If I wasn't agoraphobic I would go for a walk or get a job or something, but I am, so I can't. And daughter number two and my son don't think much of taking me out, so I'm stuck indoors, waiting for daughter number one to come home for the holidays, hoping I don't lose what's left of the plot in the meantime.

You would think that my complete lack of contact with the outside world would be grounds for a bit of support from mental health services, but apparently not -- because I have a private psychiatrist I can't have a community psychiatric nurse (even though that would give me access to all the other services in the area, like a day centre, cbt, counselling, etc).
So not only do I have the joy of paying for my psychiatric care, I get penalised for the fact that I do, too.

Thanks, NHS. I love you, too.

Repeat as Needed?

The new pills are kind of working, or at least I think they would be if I didn't have Titanic stress to deal with.

The lowered interest rate has put me in a position of being hundreds of pounds a month worse off. I was so upset about it I contacted my MP, and she didn't know what was going on even though I explained to her exactly what the 'nice' lady at the Department of Work and Pensions had told me. But at least my MP has said that she will contact the Minister, "to see if the policy needs looking at".
I won't be holding my breath.

But none of this is helping someone who is supposed to avoid stress. In the absence of something to deal specifically with the problem (having run out of Seroquel and not having them on repeat prescription at the moment) I have resorted back to sleeping pills for the time being.
But the newspaper this week contained an article about the high numbers of people who remain addicted to benzodiazepines, and how they are becoming attractive even to heroin addicts and lo! -- Suddenly they disappear off of my repeat prescription list too.

At the current rate I'll be down to aspirins and the odd ibuprofen before long.

***

In other news, number one daughter has been diagnosed with an underactive thyroid -- the exact thing I am being treated for.
If these things are hereditary, then I suppose it lends more credence to the fact that it is what is wrong with me after all.